literature

Comical Debate - ToonArmorContest Entry

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It was your average day in Equestria. The birds were chirping, the wind was warm and relaxing, and somewhere an evil goer was defeated. The Enchanted Comic shop was doing well in Canterlot, especially after they added labels to what issues would literally make the reader part of the story. Recently, the newest issue of Stallion of Steel had come out and there were some strong reviews. It continued with Super Stallion facing off against The Green Dragon and brought back a mysterious Unicorn mare, which had appeared previously and had called herself Wonderous Mare.

                One of these fans was a red and black Pegasus named Toon Kritic. He was currently on the train headed for the Crystal Empire. He removed his headgear, pulled out the comic and placed the accessory back atop his head before adjusting the top hat that had goggles wrapped around its base. "Oh this issue was so good!" he fan gushed happily. "I bet Shining will agree." He opened it and began to read it again to pass the time.

It would be a while later before Toon Kritic arrived and deboarded the locomotive. The comic was stashed back under his hat and he proceeded through the Empire's crystal archway, headed to the main construction itself. The red and black Pegasus gave a whistle. "Wonder how much upkeep this place takes? Seems fairly weather resistant though…" he quietly remarked to himself before taking to the air to make his way to the castle quicker.

                He landed steadily in front of the castle before turning his head upon hearing the giggling from a pair of mares. The two Earth ponies lifted a hoof to their muzzles as they let out another short string of giggles while looking away. Toon got a confident grin on his muzzle and started to make his way over to the mares. "Hello there! Fine day isn't it?"

                A blue mare with a stock of wheat for a cutie mark nodded, her mane done up nicely with its crystal texture. "It is a beautiful day. How are you, sir?"

                "Are you enjoying your visit to the Empire?" the other, a yellow mare with three crystal berries for a cutie mark, inquired.

                "Yes, you have a lovely home and it's made even lovelier with two certain mares."  Toon charmed as he came up and stood, resting one front leg onto the table.

                Both tittered and hide their muzzles behind a hoof as they lowered their faces. "Stop, you're making us blush." The blue mare remarked cutely.

                "Oh really now?" he chuckled while beginning to lean in.

                "Hey!” a familiar male voice called. "I didn't know you arrived!" the white Unicorn said just before hoof steps came closer from behind.

                Toon released a quiet sigh. "Just mess up my moment why don't ya?" he muttered under his breath before turning around with a warm grin on his muzzle. "Shining! What's up?"

                "Nothing much, as usual things are pretty quiet here since no one really comes up this far." He explained as he now walked up and came to a stop. "How was your ride?"

                "Smooth and relaxing." Toon pulled off his hat, withdrew the comic and replaced the accessory back atop his head. "You read the newest issue?"

                "You bet I did and it was awesome!" Shining exclaimed happily. "You ready for our routine debate?"

                "Tartarus yes! I'm going to win at it like usual." Toon explained with confidence, his wings sticking up as he puffed out his chest. This caused the pair of mares behind him to swoon.

                Shining smirked. "You just keep telling yourself that. Come on, it's time we got started." The white Unicorn with a blue mane and tail stated as he lead the way inside, with Toon following close behind.

They made their way to Shining's quarters and took a seat at the table. They placed their books down, opened them to the first page and stared the other down. This lasted only briefly before the debate began, starting with Shining. "The normal rules apply. First we state what we enjoyed and who performed well. Next we say what we didn't like about it and who performed the worst."

                "Sounds good to me." Toon agreed before clearing his throat. "You may begin since I started last time."

                Shining nodded and took a breath as his magic turned the page. "I thought the story continued well from the previous issue and that it was just as exciting. I enjoyed the twist with Wonderous Mare and she would be my choice for who performed well." He explained with a calm and joyful tone. "She kept up with the previous two issues portrayal of her and had more questions be asked about what her real motives are that involve Super Stallion."

                Toon listened and took a deep breath, making a note of what he was going to list under a dislike. "I also thought the story progressed well from the last issue. Such as with the Green Dragon continuing his attempt at getting the destruction device made based off the instructions he got from Flex Horp's destroyed warehouse. My choice for best performance would be Super Stallion." He flipped to a page showing Super Stallion chasing down the Green Dragon. "He's still got his secrets yet he never gives up on the ponies in the city."

                "Okay now for what we didn't like. I didn't like how Super Stallion didn't really question Wonderous Mare on what she was doing." He sighed softly. "He wasn't sure before if she was good or bad yet in this one he accused her of being allied with the enemy." Shining turned the pages with his magic to where it showed the Green Dragon escaping and Super Stallion accusing Wonderous Mare. "For the worst preforming character I would give it to Super Stallion. He could have done better in asking questions of Wonderous Mare to work alongside her but instead he decided to work against her, and that allowed the Green Dragon to escape with Flex Horp's plans."

                Toon was stunned and shook his head. "You must be kidding me." He placed a hoof to his forehead as his eyes closed. "I will agree that Super Stallion could have done better in the communication department, but so could she." He opened his eyes, "I also thought the Green Dragon could have been more discreet but this is the Green Dragon, him and being discreet never really went together." He lowered his hoof while turned the pages with a wing to where Wonderous Mare was stepping in and resulting in the Green Dragon escaping. "I think the worst performance goes to Wonderous Mare. She's not been open with Super Stallion and has even resulted in at least two of the bad guys getting away." He adjusted his sitting position, straightening his back some. "She could be doing more to help him stop the bad guys but no, she's around when they are yet she doesn't do anything productive to help."

                Shining frowned at this from his friend and snorted. "Don't tell me you've gone blind to what's between the lines. She's clearly doing her very best to help." He hit one hoof on the crystal tabletop firmly. "She's been doing her best and we even saw her giving Super Stallion valuable information that he wouldn't had gotten had she not been around the bad guys to begin with."

                Toon started to stand with his hooves on the tabletop. "She's being unreasonable by not knowing if she wants to stop or help the bad guys which, given she has super hero powers, should be easy for her to decide which way she wants to go. But no, she keeps flipping back and forth without making a decision about the side she wants to be on." He took a breath and a soft chuckle escaped his throat as he shook his head. "And don't get me started on her mindset."

                "And what about her mindset?" the Unicorn questioned with one eyebrow rising.

                "For one, she is very bad at teamwork. Secondly, she thinks she can do everything on her own." He stated matter-of-factly. "She investigates and fights on her own when she should be asking for assistance. Then, she steps in and messes up others who are trying to stop the bad guys because it just might mess up something she's got in mind." He stressed as he lifted a hoof up to motion in the air. "All those plans that she keeps to herself and doesn't tell anyone leads to confusion on the battlefield for others. This act results in no one knowing if they can trust her or not, because she holds her cards so close that no one knows what to make of her." Toon lowered his hoof and returned it to the table. "So I don't see how she's anything positive in this series so far since her introduction."

                Shining now stood with his hooves on the table and his eyes narrowed on the red Pegasus. "It's clear between the lines that she is just being misunderstood and has trust issues. I'm sure later on she'll learn to trust and I'm holding out to see that in this series. So don't say she's not well presented and that Super Stallion is when he could easily be called a character without many flaws to balance out his perfections."

                Toon gave a short gasp at those last words. "How dare you? Super Stallion has just as many flaws as he does perfections and so, he’s balanced. His story is still ongoing so we still have plenty of time to see more of his faults as well as his strengths." He stated with his eyes narrowed on Shining. "What does Wonderous Mare give us?" he swiped a hoof through the air. "Nothing, that’s what, besides mixed signals and an undetectable moral meter." His hoof came down firmly to the crystal surface. "She helps out the villains yet she also tries to stop them, all the while getting in the way of the actual hero's that are trying to stop the ones she just helped to start executing their plans."

                Shining frowned and slammed his comic closed with his magic. "You know what? Maybe we should part ways now." He got out of his seat and stood tall. "It's clear you can't understand what the creator is trying to do with Wonderous Mare, or see how genius this is for the way her story is being told alongside Super Stallion's."

                "Maybe you're right. I doubt you'll ever see the amazing job they're doing with Super Stallion's story by giving us insight through others as well as Super Stallion himself." Toon got out of his seat and snatched up the comic with a wing. "Maybe we also shouldn't be doing this anymore, or not until something changes in the storyline."

                "Sounds good to me." Shining agreed tensely. "Don't let the door hit you on your way out." They glared each other down as neither one made a move for the door.

Outside the door during this little spat, Princess Cadance with little Flurry Heart in one wing, and a partially empty bottle held by her magic, was walking down the hallway. Her ears twitched catching the sound of this argument and she rolled her eyes, releasing a sigh. Boys, I swear... she thought before letting herself in as the room went quiet. "What's going on here fella's? I heard what sounded like an argument." She looked to first Shining then Toon. "Is everything alright?"

                "No," Shining answered first. "Toony refuses to admit Wonderous Mare is a good character despite her mysterious motives not being revealed yet in the series." He stated while pointing a hoof at Toon.

                "And he refuses to admit Super Stallion is flawed as well as having his strengths to balance out those flaws, claiming that he could be called flawless all because he's not draped in confusion and mystery." Toon responded with his own accusing hoof pointed at Shining.

                Cadance took a breath and rolled her eyes a little before stepping closer. "How about this," she began calmly, "you both have made valid points." She looked to Shining first. "You have said to me how Wonderous Mare would be better if given more time in the focus for readers to learn more about her, right?" Shining blinked then gave a small nod. She turned her attention to Toon. "You could also say that, to the unexpected reader who hasn't read every issue in depth, the main male lead appears to be absolutely flawless without much struggle except on occasion, right?"

                Toon lightly scratched his cheek with his free wing, looking up to the ceiling, break eye contact from Cadance. "I um...suppose you could say that..."

                She now gave a look to both stallions. "Now, why don't you both say you're sorry and come up with ideas you would both like to see in the next issue...which got delayed for another two weeks."

                "Two weeks?!" both stallions exclaimed with dropped jaws facing the pink Alicorn. They quickly composed themselves and looked away from the other before turning their heads to make eye contact.

                "I guess I was being quick to judge and I'm...sorry for that. Friends?" Toon admitted quietly as he extended a hoof out in friendship.

                Shining was silent at first then spoke up. "And I suppose I was also just as quick to judge…and was being bullheaded. I'm also sorry and yes, we're still friends." He smiled and extended his hoof, both males shaking on the truce. She stayed put until they were back to the table, side by side, and discussing what would be interesting to see. Once this happened, she took her leave to return to Flurry's quarters.

After she got into Flurry's room, she set the bottle on a table just as the little one gave an adorable wide yawn before smacking her lips and rubbing her eyes with her little hooves. Cadance gave a small giggle at the sight and lifted her with her magic. "Have a nice nap sweetie?" she blew a raspberry on Flurry's belly which made the baby giggle and kick in joy. She brought the filly down and nuzzled her little nose softly. "We both know Grypheye is the best super hero in the comic series." She whispered with a cute giggle as she began to spend time with Flurry who was energized from the nap.

-deep breath and exhales- Okay I'm very nervous about this. This is really only the second time I tried writing something in the realm of Equestria and second time of me trying to write a short story when using character's that are not my own...and that have already been established by their proper owners. I really hope I didn't mess anyone up or, if I did, that it's not horribly bad. I think I'm within the time frame for the contest acceptance window. If not then um enjoy my attempt at a MLP fan fiction that has a conclusion with already established characters. -bows politely-

This is for :iconflameamigo619: contest #ToonArmorContest 

I do not own any of these characters nor the setting.

Toon Kritic is owned by :iconflameamigo619:
MLP: FiM and all its setting and Characters (in this case Shining Armor, Princess Cadance and Princess Flurry Heart) are all owned by Hasbro, Lauren Faust, DHX and everyone else who has technical ownership of any rights to the show
Super Hero's and Villain's given pony version names belongs to DC Comics and Marvel Comics which owns Superman, Wonder Woman, The Green Goblin, Lex Luther, and Hawkeye

Again, I hope readers enjoy and I hope it isn't too horrible and is entertaining >_>
© 2017 - 2024 AlisiaLanet
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